The hand motioned two dots closer before it hits number “12”. On its opposite end, the shorter hand hangs motionless.
3…2…1… I counted. It says “6” on the clock by the wall inside the house. Outside, rippling silhouettes of leaves and twigs drew on the bluish-black, almost gray sky, but with streaks of indigo.
It was getting dark. It has been in a very long time since I saw these patterns outlined the horizons. The sky has been pouring for weeks; morning ’til evening. It was non-stop. But tonight, it’s a rain-less night.
The evening closed in and then suddenly, the neighborhood’s power got cut. Before I could complain that I’ll be spending time with the dark, it’s the rain-less night that got my attention.
With the absence of lights gleaming at the stark community, darkness blanketed my view. There’s only the stillness and silence, which gave clarity of a rain-less night; And the finally clear evening is a night to thank for.
Weeks earlier, I have been praying for the stealth winds to subside and the pouring to stop. I missed the sun.
I missed the warmth and working under the sun. With no worrying on how to stay dry and continue the task needs to be done for the day.I counted not only seconds, hours, but days. It was raining for almost a month.
Though I know I have no total control, I prayed for a little sun…
Still, not a streak nor a dot peaked through the pouring clouds. I missed the moments whenit was a walk in a sunshine and it seemed God answers every prayer; even those which are trivial like cancelling the rain when you need to get out or when you forget to bring an umbrella.
Then God answered this silly prayer, but in a rather twisted way. His way.
God did not give me the sun, but He sure stopped the rain. With that I knew the One who hears is teaching me something. The rain-less night, is a night for a lesson learned.
Have you ever had those times when you get prayers unanswered. Questions remained and your view of a situation is just cloudy. Disappointments were unavoidable; frustrations after frustrations. Troubles seemed non-stop. We doubted if God really hears. We doubted if we had the right kind of faith too.
We expect God to answer in a certain, more bearable way: our way. We ask, “God, just a little sun,”…”Lord just a little help… if not make this problem go away,”…”I’m not asking for a miracle, God, just a small dot of hope…” We ask, “Why?”… “Lord, why not?”
When the rains in life are relentless, it is the best season our prayers be restless. “Pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ. (1 Thes. 5 17-18).”Faith and obedience in God is not by how fast we get answers, or be blessed by how we want to experience blessings. God is never dependent on people’s choices. He still and does answer prayers, it is just not in a way we understand.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts
God may not always stop the rain during the day when we need it. Sometimes He needs us to wait for the night, to wait and hope in the night.
It is dark. But it is in darkness where He wants to show certain patterns revealing His
ways, which He can not make us see during the day, when there’s too much light blocking our sight.
When things seems to go our way, and prayers get answered immediately we tend to rely on our own efforts in knowing God. Thinking we must have been doing what is right. It would be impossible for God to punish ’cause we read the Bible, we serve, we had finally achieved being perfect servants. We think, “God can not withhold me His blessings, I’m giving glory to Him.” We only see things our way, in our own limited understanding of what God seeks in a person’s character and faith.
In the night, when we cannot see, we learn to depend on a single source of light. We can’t trust on our own capacity anymore. When we cannot see troubles in life end, and we cannot get answers clearly anymore, the night teaches us to wait, to expect for day to come.
We rest in the night and hope in the Lord. He is teaching us patience in times we are uncertain.
We can only trust in the One in control when we feel frustrated and nothing we see happening swerves our troubles and pain. We tried to drive our own way, or even please God just to receive what we know we deserve. We manipulate faith by following “christianized” self-help strategies from books, wisdom from famous authors-pastors, trainings, workshops, etc. We do good and we create a walk-in-a-sunshine lifestyle. But self-efforts in trying to be right in the Lord’s sight leads us to meeting our own desires and not His. The night teaches us to open our eyes and see things wider; deeper if not clear as the day.
Trust and confidence in God is alone dependent on Him, on His character and wisdom.
He is an all-knowing parent, He patiently reminds us in times of uncertainty that we can not do things our own, but He is here with us. He is gently guiding us instructions (the Bible), not only for us to follow but also to know what He promises. Prayer is our basic strategy God taught us to face life’s storms and aftermaths. Prayer is God’s way not only for us to seek answers but also seek the One who gives answers. We search God’s heart, His voice, His character, His help.
He is a friend who listens in the silence of hearts and desires a close walk with us in both still and stormy weather.
When prayers seemed unanswered, trust God, His Word through Jesus. He works with perfect understanding of seasons. His hand is always in motion, even if slow; He is making plans in His perfect time according to His relentless love for us.
Trust in Him, O people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:8 (NIV)
We had thanked God for sunny days. Have you thanked Him for a rainless night? Look outside, tonight might just be the perfect night.
Hi! This is Introverted Pyralid, where stories are real; they can be yours.
We all have stories. Though not everything is told, some may come in pictures and fragments of thoughts. In any way we all have something to share. Hoping to connect with many of you amazing individuals in the coming seasons this section will be called Post-O-Graph.
This is just another read about depression. For those who do not want to understand, there is really nothing we can do about that. But for those who want to understand and for those who need to be understood…
Depression is Like…
I don’t want to eat…
I don’t want to sleep.
I cannot go to work. I’m going to bed.
I don’t want to sleep.
I’m sleeping now.
I have slept. Oh no. I’m gonna eat.
I feel sleepy. I’m not eating.
I’m eating now. I have class. I’m going to work.
I don’t want to eat.
I’m sleepy. I have to work. I will work.
I have to keep going; I ‘m going to take bath
I don’t want to sleep.
What is it again?
Oh no; not again…
Oh yes, I have class.
I have to work. I will work. I have to go.
I’m going to take bath. I’ve said that already
It’s been 3 hours since
I’m still eating. I’m still sleepy
No. I’m tired.
I need to go to bath. Now.
I have class. I have to work.
I don’t want to eat.
I don’t want to sleep.
I don’t want to sleep.
Depression. What is it really like?
We could only use many different words to tell what it is. Honestly, it goes differently the same to each person battling it. It becomes a personal unique experience across individuals. We can only use too many different words to describe it. How is it felt? Is it even real or just an over reaction to sadness? How it happened. How it did not happen. How it starts or is it ever going to end?
For those who are in the actual battle
Those who know, know.
Those who are in the actual battle know. They know they need help and they know they need to overcome. They know their battle and they will know victory when it happens.
They have been in the worst times so they know when they see the path to recovery when it comes; They never give up and they would not waste a streak of energy left of them just to have a moment of “better times”. The people close to them can choose if they want to be a part of the help when they find it.
Those who have been in the actual battle knows more than just mere words. There are times depression occurs with no words to express it at all.
Fragments of thoughts
This fragmented poem are just scribbles of my own experience. They just might be silly thoughts for you.
These are just words to show NOT what depression really is; but just what depression is like. One thing comes for sure: depression is not “me.”
In these fragments of thoughts one can see into an episode which translates to an untold journey of how depression can affect someone. It is actually in these fragments of thoughts of the individual with depression, when the experience is a reality and the struggle happens daily.
Many still have doubts if depression is an illness. When the worse happens and the news surprised us by people taking their own life; and depression is equated with the act of suicide; worst is the act equated the person’s life. There was no chance to see that once, these people battled with their thoughts and they lived with a fight.
Often, those who want to understand friends or loved ones with depression searched for specific, detailed account of an experience so they can fully grasp and be able to give help. But it is in these fragmented thoughts where people miss the obvious and avoid paying their attention.
These words cannot really tell what depression looks like for everyone; they can relate to what depression is like for someone.
When one can relate, it opens a stream of hope and and a willing ear to better hear and understand one’s battle with depression. Help happens when finally a moment is lend to give up one’s thoughts of what a mental illness is or is not; depression is not just taking one’s own life or exaggerated sadness. We learn to accept that when someone describes what depression is like, we then know that depression is not that person.
Hoping to have various pieces from different lives of people, this collection will be titled “Post-O-Graph”. Found on the Art & Poetry section of this blog, different forms of artistic expressions would be featured.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – is a condition wherein a person experiences anxiety that gives him/her feelings, thoughts, sensations (obsessions) and makes the person commit certain actions repetitively.
Do you know that God is diagnosed with this?
You think it’s a crazy idea? Do you think that this condition is not normal? Well…not really… only …supernatural!
On one Sunday sermon, the speaker described God as a “crazy God”…an “obsessed God”, others laughed. Why? Sounds like a crazy idea? It is not, it is a fact. In fact, it is the truth! Who else like GOD, the Creator, the Father? Who else can do what He has done?
He created us into His likeness to be His children. You and me are His creations. This gives GOD the full right of ownership over those He created. He owns us…but not only once when he made us. He owned us twice!
He created us… but then He also purchased us…He paid for us, his creations so that he can have us called His own…His and His alone.
God already has ownership over us when He formed us, His creations, but then He also paid for us when His only Son Jesus died on the cross to redeem people from sin, the one who stole His precious creations from Him.
From death and sin Jesus redeemed us. He took that penalty to save us and make us worthy of Him.
God signed His personal signature, His identity on you and me, His masterpiece, when He formed us. After that, He signed that signature again through the blood of His Son Jesus Christ when he redeemed us from sin and death, … now tell me, isn’t that obsessive?
It is my friend! Don’t deny it… there’s a God so loving and so passionate about you… HE’S CRAZY OVER YOU…! HE’S OBSESSED ABOUT YOU!
The LORD is telling you my friend…
“…YOU ARE MINE, MY CHILD…I AM YOUR FATHER… I DELIGHT ON YOU MY PRECIOUS CREATION, THE VERY PURPOSE ON WHICH I HAVE FOR YOU…WHY I MADE YOU AFTER MY OWN IMAGE…YOU ARE MINE… NO ONE CAN TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME, MY BELOVED POSSESSION…I’M CRAZY ABOUT YOU… I OWN YOU… OH, WAIT… I THINK I REALLY CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU …RIGHT..! I’LL PUT A PRICE ON YOU… ON WHICH ONLY I COULD PAY…SO? HOW MUCH WOULD YOU COST..? OH, YES! I’LL PAY A HIGH PRICE FOR YOU… YOU ARE WORTH OF MY ONE AND ONLY SON JESUS’ LIFE…YOU ARE WORTH THE BLOOD HE WOULD SPILL… DON’T YOU SEE..?I’M OBSESSED WITH YOU! I NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE REALLY, REALLY MINE… SO THIS CRIMSON BLOOD WOULD COVER YOU… IT WILL NEVER EVER BE WASHED OUT FROM YOU…IT WILL SAVE YOU FROM ALL SINS… IT WOULD WASH AWAY ALL YOUR FLAWS…NOW YOU’RE PERFECT! YOU TRULY BELONG WITH ME NOW…I CAN SEE JESUS’ BLOOD ON YOU … WELL… THAT’S YOUR NEW IDENTITY! I CREATED YOU..! I REDEEMED YOU! SO YOU ARE REALLY REALLY MINE..! NOW… PLEASE… WILL YOU SAY IT TO ME TOO, THAT… “I’M YOURS…”
HELLO MY FRIEND!…I hope you enjoyed reading this…!
If by any chance you realized that you need this kind of obsessive love… well, it is not an accident that you read this note. Because of His love we can turn form our old ways and turn to Him.
Are you ready?
You can really experience our Father’s love, just the kind of love you truly need… just believe and have faith. This is the cry of God. He is so obsessed to let you know how much He loves you.
He wants you to know you have been redeemed, and there’s no way He would let you be separated from Him again. That you are redeemed from sin should not make you fear to repent*. With Christ, you are not alone. Because of His love you can repent. He is someone who will be with you in pain as you change and leave your old ways and start to live in God’s plan.
He is knocking at the door of your heart and you can choose to open it… believe that Jesus died for you and has given you a new life, an everlasting life… a new identity… worthy of being loved. Believe that Jesus has saved you and wants a real personal relationship with you.
Here is a prayer, you can talk to our LORD Jesus Christ in this way, what matters is what is inside your heart, and He deeply knows your fears and your inner cries, your true desires…
…LORD Jesus… I need Your love…the kind of love only You can give… thank You for forgiving my sins, thank You for saving me from death … thank You for Your blood on the cross, thank You, You died and live for me … here I am Lord… enter my life… I receive my new identity in You… thank you for the gift of eternal life. I surrender my life to You, help me to repent from my old ways and turn to You*, my Savior and Lord. Take it, use it as You will. Amen.
When a christian shares gospel to non believers especially to an atheist, the chances to open up a conversation already closed.
When an atheist says that he or she do not really believe in God, the opportunity of sharing and making them accept and believe that Jesus is Lord and Savior, and that He is God is already gone.
The lines from standard passages when sharing such as John 1:12 which says “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” or the popular verse in John 3:16 will not really make sense anymore. They do not believe in God, period.
That is why it leaves believers and non-believers to a never ending argument. But why is that arguing about God’s existence will not really lead those who do not believe to believe and why is convincing them will never work?
The Truth about Jesus Being God
Jesus is God because He is the only one in History, in the whole universe who was able to make himself human for us, something that those who are already a human cannot do. Humans cannot be God. Though many of us tried.
The human population tried to have more knowledge by acquiring degrees, finishing certain and stocks of courses, read books, write books, etc. We tried to lead and draw people to follow us by acquiring platforms, roles, power, position. We prove ourselves by constantly adding up to what we have already attained. Still those were not enough, we were still not God.
While Jesus, He never earned a degree. He did not wrote a book, claimed a political position, led an army or fighting squads. He did not need to quote several famous words of famous people when He gave speeches but He draw large crowds to Him. (Read reference: http://y-jesus.com/wwrj/3-is-jesus-god/)
He Stopped being God
A lot of times we try to convince others to believe in God by arguing how great He is. We forget to point out that He became low, humbled himself by becoming a human even though He is already a God. Live like a human, feel what humans feel. Allowed himself to be subjected to human standards, human limitations and human suffering, even being subjected to death as a human. As a God He could stop it. But instead, He stopped being God.
Avoiding what we humans tried to avoid is not His way of showing why He is God. We could never understand it and that is what makes Him God.
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, existing in the form of God,did not consider equality with God something to cling to, but emptied Himself,taking the form of a servant,being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,He humbled Himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross.
Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place,and gave Him the name above all names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,to the glory of God the Father.(Philippians 2:6-11)
But the reason why we will never convince atheists and other non-believers of Jesus is because convincing or arguing is not what we need to do. Always, the best way to reach out to people and share Christ to them is to stop being God.
We should stop arguing like we know everything. We should always start by praying for those whom we want to share the gospel to and depend on God by the power of the Holy Spirit and stop pointless arguments that leads to nothing.
Our everyday role should be to imitate Christ and wear His humility. “My atheist friends or neighbors may not respond to me, but I will still love them and will keep praying for them.”
“The coffee I had always been drinking was too bitter.
But just until now, I did not realize that.
For a long time, I had not really noticed that the coffee I’ve been drinking tasted really good.
I was paying too much attention on how bad and bitter the day could be without really thanking and appreciating the good the coffee could bring.
The coffee that You have brought me.
But what makes the coffee really good is, I am not paying attention anymore to how bad and bitter this day could be. More than the coffee, I am now able to notice that while drinking my cup, I am with You!
Thank you for this really nice conversation with You! The coffee is not bitter anymore. Now the coffee is better!”
Getting the right mix of your cup of coffee in the morning is like trying to get the right start of your day, either you will hate or love how it taste. Are you after a perfect mix of it or a bitter taste?
What kind of mix do you pour on your cup everyday? This could be the concerns we fill our thoughts daily.These thoughts can easily take our attention away from the good things. We prepare and try to make the “perfect” taste. We tend to take the coffee for granted and then forget about its Maker.
Have you ever prayed over coffee? Have you thanked God for the little things ?
Have you had a real conversation with the Maker?
No matter how we feel towards the day, and no matter how we ignore the Maker, His presence, knowing He is with us is better than a perfectly mixed coffee.
Starting a day with a right attitude makes a big difference. We can decide if we want the coffee bitter… or make it better.
1 Peter 5:7 says, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you!” (New Living Translation)
Prayer is a real conversation with God. It is the truest conversation we have with God more than those times when we feel like God is talking to us through a great preacher’s sermon.Nor listening to the compelling words from famous pastors’ YouTube videos.
Our praying to God is the evidence of our utmost belief that our God is real, that He is alive. He is with us.
He is God, and that does not make Him unrelateable.And that He cares for us is His way of telling us that He can feel our human emotions. He can come down to our position and meet us where we are. It does not bother Him that He is an all-knowing God and He has to listen to people’s complains and worries.
Prayer is not superficial. It is a time and place where we see God as very personal. We come face to face and heart to heart with a genuinely caring Father. In prayer we experience God’s sincere love. He is telling us…
“I AM here, I AM waiting for you to talk with me.Tell me anything that disappoints you, frustrates you. I’ll listen…I won’t judge you. I would not condemn. In your anxiety do not sin, cast that burden to me, and I will give you peace.”
He is here. He just wants a simple and honest talk.
He looks forward to hearing our voices. He delights in spending time savoring the moment with His creations. He wants to hear how He made us react, respond to our surroundings, how He made us speak and express ourselves. We can be ourselves before God, in Him we are free. We can come and talk to Him.
I Randomly Blog About Not Only My Personal Hardships, Experiences, And Journey Thus Far, But Also Topics Others Can Relate To. I Want Others To Know That You Are Not Alone, And Never Of Ashamed Of Your Story Or Where You Come From.