“I. Am Here”
You don’t know where I am
But, I love it
QUICKY NOTES …
“Be quick to listen”; & take down notes –
Praise the Lord, O my soul;
All my inmost being praise His holy name. (Psalm 103: 1)
Last November I got really sick. A viral illness had some of my body organs greatly affected.
Brain infection; no kidding. To be medically sound, “cerebral edema”. Latest and final diagnosis is “Reye’s Syndrome”. How I acquired this, was a long story. But to pin down what concerns me really is that the sickness got me struggling for almost a month…and would soon left me with decreased “normal” activities.
But now, I just praise the Lord in every moment. He is my constant healer. Each day that would come is when I could witness how I can be much better. I rarely catch physical illness, that, with my current journey recovering my mental health had been the one tough battle so far. So, this experience brought me to a different level of trust and seeking the Lord; and this was why I am sharing this note. 😊
Although, time leads to healing, still, it brings moments of doubts and frustrations.
I still feel weak and bouts of headaches and brain fogs impede the things I need and normally do. A simple movement could spark a sting inside my head. The pain still lingers. And because it occurs internally, it’s hard to tell.
Times like this, discouragement easily trip me off. Praying, hoping, whispering on my own, that I wish I could move better. Think clearer, just be better. Hoping healing would come as quickly as right now.
The shift in my mood and attitude affects me badly.
At this moment, as I were desperate for help, the Lord graciously led me to Him. I had nowhere else to go.
Psalm 103: 1 begins, “all my inmost being, praise His holy name!” A shift, not only in my mind but also in my emotions, came as swift as a gentle morning breeze. It is the Father gently and graciously showing Himself.
“His name is holy.” The words moved me and cleared specks in my heart. My negative reactions to my condition would not allow me to see this character of the Lord. Whenever we feel bad it is a stretch in our inner emotional muscles to extend grace and patience especially to ourselves. We see our situation and we set aside the Lord, failing to see who He can be in our midst.
Finally learning one of His precepts, I came to realize, that I don’t have anything to bring. If I find myself in my weakest, “all my inmost being would praise…” My frustrated whining turned into praise.
I praise. I would thank and be at peace for no other reason; the reason is Christ, for He is Lord. He is Holy; for who He is. Not for what I am being.
And now, I came to this revelation; a change of heart, and of thoughts: my being’s only role is to praise, and cling on to who God is. If I have sickness, illness, adversaries, it is God’s role to heal, to help, to show grace, to show He is Holy; and that no forms of evil, attitude or mindset, could stand Him. My role is recognize my iniquities and turn and cling close beside Him. I need Him.
… who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
Who redeems you from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion…
…satisfies you with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
The Holy one, forgives and abounds in love. Holiness. His holiness can only grant those who fear and turn to Him a crown. A treasure we keep, as a symbol worn showing we have ownership of His love. He extends compassion. Even after we falter and have our shortcomings revealed before Him, we have His love, because He is holy.
Honestly, it is still going to be hard to praise and trust the Lord in my present sickness. I could not really do it myself. From time to time I would still catch myself sulking in harmful thoughts about my situation. And the Lord knows this too. That is why it is important to seek His character, His heart, first. So we know that the One we cling to, is worth our confidence; trust.
God’s reaction towards us reflect His character. He may condem, but it is not who He is. He can point out our mistakes and punish but He chose many times to show goodness and give what would satisfy His children; setting aside His wrath. Only a Holy One can do that.🙂
Hi this is Introverted Pyralid! Welcome to my first Quicky Notes!
QUICKY NOTES is a collection of devotional notes dedicated to our Eternal Dad. Lately, life has not been kind. Troubles seemed endless. Many times I feel it’s hard to hear God. But we know that He is faithful. So when His word comes in times of devotion, I would not want to miss His voice. I need to be “quick to listen”, and now that my illness had troubled my ability to remember, I have to take down notes. 🙂 So, let’s not be discouraged, when it’s time for God to speak, in the midst of our troubles, “be quick to listen”; then take down notes.