FeaturedThings I realized during this quarantine (glimpse of my story)

Things I realized during this quarantine (glimpse of my story)

I finally realized what this quarantine means for me.

( How I got a virus, my recovery and some updates…)

Quarantine with me-ooow… 🙂

Staying home and locked down for a long period of time can alter people’s behavior. Some experts would call it “Cabin fever”. Adopting to a number of changes in an abrupt turn of time can really make some people sick, … if not acquiring a virus… can probably give people sickness – emotionally or mentally.

Sudden behavior changes, like shift in lifestyle – altering routine – to live in time of crisis; adapting new schedules to follow curfew protocols; staying home for longer periods from how you usually do; People need to adapt. It’s tough for some. Others may have tormenting memories – bad experiences that linger which can make them feel more unsafe staying home. If physical and verbal abuses (like me) is a common routine inside a house, being on a lock-down is a perilous time for the victims.

Some may find this current situation on a bright light. Family connection, rest or vacation has finally been checked on their to-do lists. Parents get the chance to recover lost times with their children and vice-versa.

This quarantine means differently for many.

Me, personally, finally at this third to fourth week of lock down, the change I need to undergo is recovery of my time with the Lord. More of this journey as I let you into some details.

Master in Social Isolation

Isolation-  social distancing, is not new for me. I am a recovering depression and anxiety patient. (And by recovery means it is a long process). This journey began at the end of year 2018. 2019, I begin to step into acceptance, when I also recovered from my brain infection (see my quicky-notes on this); and then the long process of recovery- then this year…(and this pandemic… ooh life – it is).

Going through depression in the past, I have been putting myself under “quarantine seasons.” If you also been through depression or anxiety, you know that type of situation where it’s just hard to leave home. You are paralyzed.

I myself love going out to some outdoor activities – like immersing in the community, nature photography and hiking. These give me life. When depression attacks, my anxiety level turns up and cripples me to think of those things I always enjoy.

How I went through “quarantine” when seasons of depression strikes, is somewhat different to a pandemic’s quarantine. No one imposes us to stay home. It was a battle for people like us.

Now, when the quarantine started … I didn’t feel like something with my routine had really changed…

A time to choose, to heal, to recover…

What it has been for me actually is time to catch up… Honestly, the feeling that i had was, as I told myself…, “So now people actually feels how having a mental illness feels like… ” When you really do not want to get stuck inside but you have no choice.

By force or by choice; It became a choice when we started to think of protecting other people – not to spread a virus on them. As a depression patient, I choose to stay home when I don’t want someone else to be affected by my “sad” virus. It was contagious. Loneliness is as contagious like a virus. It is an enemy no one sees. And the battle is solely left to be tread by the person, alone. To feel that I’m no longer alone in that type of “feeling” brings a relief.

This made me remember of a prayer I told God.

I am still in my last years in college. The early years has been obstructed by my depression. I tried at first not think it that way but I have to admit it and be honest. These are attitude crucial to recovery. I was not really aware of it.

Depression and low immune system complicate my health. I acquired an auto-immune disease – Rye’s Syndrome; not a serious illness once the patient has fully recovered. (You can research on Rye’s Syndrome and find other complications a patient could experience). But due to a virus infection, my brain swelled. The deadly part was not giving the immediate aid to it could have been fatal. I hope to tell my full story but for now I have to give you a short version.

My body refuses to fight sickness. My doctor that time found that I have Depression and anxiety. She lectured me… “Mental sickness is a factor for the physical body not responding to a fast recovery. (stay with me in this blog as I continue to discover my own “depression journey” – tune in for more stories to come) 🙂 .

I was prescribed to take a full-year rest. If I want to heal and recover I need to rest and stay away from things that brings me stress.

Emotional fatigue and mental stress were also my complications. I have this guilt – I shouldn’t even tried hard – I should have given time and recover. Completely. And then leading to more guilt I felt because of a need to rest and need for more time. I wished it never has to be like this.

I prayed this to God,

” Lord I hope time would just stop.”

Facing my depression, dealing with it , the impact of recovery- facing my delays… in life in general.. is tiring.. To face the chaos in you is discomforting. I went on …

“i need more time… I feel guilty and feel I don’t even deserve Your help…I want to slow down.. but catching up now is my only hope left to finish school and deal with the many other “stuff”…

I was hopeless, trying to be hopeful… Hope was what I had left in those times.

Self-quarantine – Self-help: Surrender your “self”

And now this happens… The lock-downs around the world made me feel like time had really stopped. It made millions of people panic. School and work cancelled – or just delayed, until the virus would stop spreading. People were forced to quarantines. People would just wait for the coming days.

I have the time to catch up.

Before the quarantine seasons.. I were no different from many who go on with their normal routines… I too, got busy… struggling also; finishing school works and looking for part-time jobs to sustain every needs and then managing my mental illness. These are all done full-time. Who said recovery is easy?

This is recovery. For me it is hard work.

Discipline is enforced with bravery (means crying the whole time) to fix your past failures (and I am still in the process… I haven’t even reached the half of this journey…). Just like everybody else things tend to be handled through a program called “on my own” – self-help strategies; self-development process.

It must work. But for me, really, it reduces strength. It reduces my focus on the Lord, as the One who truly helps. My self-effort of course diverted my attention away from God. I was busy. I have no time and focus to spend moments with His WORD. I have no time to meet Him on our one-on-one dates in prayer.

I have no consistent quiet time.

I was also healing my-self from depression by my own program- following the world’s advice– Books, YouTube videos, podcasts, Ted-Talks, IG stories – memes.. name it .. you know it.. we’ve used it…whatever.. Whatever accessible whenever available. I can get to choose. Nothing is imposed. The process is easy. But the path to true recovery gets more difficult. I’ve gone farther.

I realized my lack of God in my life. I need Him now more than ever. I need time; a huge amount of moment to talk to Him- catch up with Him again. And He… definitely has a lot of revelations to say to me… personally. This is my surrender.

In a rare moment God gave me this passage (it was even His grace still that led me to choose the Bible that certain day…) this is what He said:

“ Psalm 50 16-23

16 But to the wicked person, God says:

“What right have you to recite my laws
or take my covenant on your lips?
17 You hate my instruction
and cast my words behind you.
18 When you see a thief, you join with him;
you throw in your lot with adulterers.
19 You use your mouth for evil
and harness your tongue to deceit.
20 You sit and testify against your brother
and slander your own mother’s son.
21 When you did these things and I kept silent,
you thought I was exactly[a] like you.
But I now arraign you
and set my accusations before you.

22 “Consider this, you who forget God,
or I will tear you to pieces, with no one to rescue you:
23 Those who sacrifice thank offerings honor me,
and to the blameless[b] I will show my salvation.”


When I read this… Immediately I felt the panic and a relief.

God does not fail to point out His offer of salvation.. But this time He is serious He must recover His place in people’s lives. (read my Quicky Notes on Psalm 50… next – stay tuned 🙂  )

Notes from God

This is what He taught me. My distance from Him.. a spiritual distance, made me indifferent to who He is. I lost who God is in my life trying to follow popular steps guided by wordly manuals. When God sees the works of the wicked did we really think He is just out there far way observing?

What if this is God in panic..? He is panicking for us to do right once and for all. Come back to Him and know Him. His word – His characters – His promises – His love.

This is God now speaking and telling His feelings of isolation. People forget about Him easily when things are smooth and in control… When everything goes in our normal routine. When we do our own way even if it breeds wickedness, we do not panic. We don’t isolate from what we know in nature is bad. As long as it is easy, accessible, available.. when it works for us. We do it we enjoy it.

The quarantine, the virus, the lockdown –  is God’s way to get even. He panics. Spiritual distance is not normal with His relationship with His children.. God is angry. He may be sad…or even depressed for us. Let us come back to Him. Pay attention to Him again. His behavior towards forgiveness will never be altered (1 John 1:9). Let us recover our lost time and devotion with our Lord, Jesus Christ, He is our Savior.

FeaturedKeep Going: Post-O-Graph #14

Keep Going: Post-O-Graph #14

Keep Going


Keep Going. Post-O-Graph #15. @IntrvrtdPyrld



Fast. Lights
Slowing scenes

Sight, seeing
clouds above
murky skies

View. YOUR
Voice calling

froze. Time
rest; breathe


On. Tears.

Every step

matters. Clearer,












Hi! This is IntrovertedPyralid ; Where stories are real they can be yours!
Thank you for journeying with us! Now we are on our first Post-O-Graph for October!
Post-O-Graph – a post at a time…
Post-O-Graph Collection Start here : Post-O-Graph #1
Read our stories : First story for October
FeaturedMetaphor of a Savior

Metaphor of a Savior

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You could have saved Yourself; but You were busy saving me…

You could have stopped the doubts on Your deity; instead You chose to make us free


You could have avoided death

and we could just put in You our faith

It would all be easy for us

And a gain for You

and have us not confused

and have everyone believe You.



It would would not make You who You are

You wouldn’t have been Savior

and we wouldn’t have been called saved

We could have deserved all punishment

and deserve to end up a slave of death.



If it weren’t for Your blood; I would still find myself lost…

When You could have erased the part where You have to endure the cross

But above what I could understand; is that the story happened according to plan

It all started when You choose the nails in Your hands

Then when Your side bled, it lead death meet its end.

When all we could finally see, is the stone of Your own grave

We missed the part where You finished the scene by raising from the dead

A metaphor I could never comprehend.





…You are Savior,

and that is why…

I am saved.

Metaphor of a Savior. by IntrvrtdPyrmd. April,1,2018.

A Colloquy over Coffee with the “Maker”

FeaturedA Colloquy over Coffee with the “Maker”

“The coffee I had always been drinking was too bitter.

But just until now, I did not realize that.

For a long time, I had not really noticed that the coffee I’ve been drinking
tasted really good.

I was paying too much attention on how bad and bitter the day could be without really thanking and appreciating the good the coffee could bring.

CoffeeMakerDSC_1951 (4)

The coffee that You have brought me.

But what makes the coffee really good is, I am not paying attention anymore to how bad
and bitter this day could be. More than the coffee, I am now able to notice that while drinking my cup, I am with You!

Thank you for this really nice conversation with You! The coffee is not bitter anymore.
Now the coffee is better!”

Getting the right mix of your cup of coffee in the morning is like trying to get the right start of your day, either you will hate or love how it taste. Are you after a perfect mix of it or a bitter taste?

What kind of mix do you pour on your cup everyday? This could be the concerns we fill our thoughts daily.These thoughts can easily take our attention away from the good things. We prepare and try to make the “perfect” taste. We tend to take the coffee for granted and then forget about its Maker.

Have you ever prayed over coffee? Have you thanked God for the little things ?
Have you had a real conversation with the Maker?

No matter how we feel towards the day, and no matter how we ignore the Maker, His presence, knowing He is with us is better than a perfectly mixed coffee.

Starting a day with a right attitude makes a big difference. We can decide if we want the coffee bitter… or make it better.

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you!” (New Living Translation)

Prayer is a real conversation with God. It is the truest conversation we have with God more than those times when we feel like God is talking to us through a great preacher’s sermon.Nor listening to the compelling words from famous pastors’ YouTube videos.

Our praying to God is the evidence of our utmost belief that our God is real, that He is alive. He is with us.

He is God, and that does not make Him unrelateable.And that He cares for us is His way of telling us that He can feel our human emotions. He can come down to our position and meet us where we are. It does not bother Him that He is an all-knowing God and He has to listen to people’s complains and worries.

Prayer is not superficial. It is a time and place where we see God as very personal. We come face to face and heart to heart with a genuinely caring Father. In prayer we experience God’s sincere love. He is telling us…

“I AM here, I AM waiting for you to talk with me.Tell me anything that disappoints you, frustrates you. I’ll listen…I won’t judge you. I would not condemn. In your anxiety do not sin, cast that burden to me, and I will give you peace.”

He is here. He just wants a simple and honest talk.
He looks forward to hearing our voices. He delights in spending time savoring the moment with His creations. He wants to hear how He made us react, respond to our surroundings, how He made us speak and express ourselves. We can be ourselves before God, in Him we are free. We can come and talk to Him.

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Post-O-Graph #25: a work in progress

Post-O-Graph #25: a work in progress
Post-O-Graph#25. A random pen to paper sketch…

Pen to Paper.

Random drawing. Sunflower pen sketch. My gel pen -blue. Pilot pen – green.

A work in progress…

A work in progress. Randomly drawing to calm my mind. Either it is a normal non-pandemic period or at this season of lock-down, drawing or sketching is a great relief to help ease my anxiety and depression…

Should I add more flowers? shading? background?

A work in progress…. A pen to paper sketch. Random drawing of my favorite flower (- well, my only favorite flower.. i rarely like flowers… Give me the random wild things… i’ll love them!

This is our first personal video for post-o-graph by @intrvrtdpyrld. And yes, we have a YouTube Channel ; Please subscribe. 🙂

So? Will you help? What do you think should I add? Or leave it as it is… I don’t mind. 🙂

Post-O-Graph #24: Tiny Desk Concert: Tasha Cobbs

Post-O-Graph #24: Tiny Desk Concert: Tasha Cobbs ❤

Speaking of Colors (Post-O-Graph #23) … Here is another video post-o-graph…

Another set-list of songs from an amazing artist, Tasha Cobbs which reflects celebrating your color. Whatever race, gender, religion, skin color, style… you are wearing, no one can put you down.

Listen to her second song in this small and intimate “desk concert”.

Subscribe to NPR MUSIC to more tiny desk concerts. 🙂

Post-O-Graph -A pots at a time…

Post- O – Graph #1 – Silver Linings

Post-O-Graph #23: “Colors” (Black Pumas )


“Colors” : Black Pumas at Paste Studios

Hi! This IntrovertedPyralid – The Note Book Collector! Welcome back friends! Glad to have you check out our latest Post-O-Graph!

Listening to music is one of the awesome part of my day (…been a long time since our last post… How are you by the way , spending this quarantine season? 🙂 ) Since we are currently on lockdown… Many of us finds something to do.

I always put music at the background whatever I am doing.. cleaning the house, fixing my stuff, cooking or working at home.

But then I heard this performance of Black Pumas. This is just one of a kind moment… That type of music where you just have to stop whatever it is you get your hands on; and lend your ears and just listen to the music.

“Colors” : Black Pumas at Paste Studios


One of the favorite things I do when staying home is Music… whole day of Music. I just need to share this live performance of Black Pumas at Paste Studio. Subscribe to Paste Stuidos YTube Channel.

One of their song which is my favorite, is “Colors”


“It’s a good day to be, a good day for me
A good day to see my favorite colors, colors
My sisters and my brothers, they see ’em like no other
All my favorite colors”

Colors by Black Puma lyrics


This just speaks of good vibes and positive love for people around us. Staying in our communities on lockdown; this is the perfect time to spread love and acceptance to those around us.

Summer Goodbye

Summer Goodbye

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How you know a good story
by opening scenes being told
with the first bars
of the film’s soundtrack;
That is how saying hi
the first time feels like.

Memories written
through paintbrushes
on letters sent from the palms
of a loved one;
Is then when staying
With You i am found.

Just as Promises kept are sealed
around with blood tapped
like tattoo into our
dirt tainted skin;
It was i learned to dart
faith into dreams…

Dances start with the tune
from exchanging lines
At the scenes of a movie script;
Secrets shared our laughter
with low times and dim lights
like lyrics played along guitar licks.

Be put to sleep by the scold
of a moist sepia sunshine,
Awake at the last whisper of a lyre;
This is how i said
to summer

_DSC2051 (5)

first published @ Summer Goodbye in Poetizer.com

Check out Poetizer.com for more amazing poets and poetry